laughter

i heart faces

I was walking down the street when I was accosted 

by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman 

who asked me for a couple of 
dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked,

“If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?”


“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless woman told me.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” 

I asked.
 “No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. 

“I need to

 spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked.
 

“Are you NUTS!?!” replied the homeless woman. 

“I haven’t had my hair 
done in 20 years!”

“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. 

Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.” 

The homeless woman was shocked.

 “Won’t your husband be furious with 
you for doing that? 

I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty 
disgusting.”

I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks

 like 

after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”